This is for Anthony Brown

Psalm 102

A Prayer of the afflicted, when he is overwhelmed and pours out his complaint before the LORD.

1 Hear my prayer, O LORD,
And let my cry come to You.
2 Do not hide Your face from me in the day of my trouble;
Incline Your ear to me;
In the day that I call, answer me speedily.

3 For my days are consumed like smoke,
And my bones are burned like a hearth.
4 My heart is stricken and withered like grass,
So that I forget to eat my bread.
5 Because of the sound of my groaning
My bones cling to my skin.
6 I am like a pelican of the wilderness;
I am like an owl of the desert.
7 I lie awake,
And am like a sparrow alone on the housetop.

12 But You, O LORD, shall endure forever,
And the remembrance of Your name to all generations.
13 You will arise and have mercy on Zion;
For the time to favor her,
Yes, the set time, has come.
14 For Your servants take pleasure in her stones,
And show favor to her dust.
15 So the nations shall fear the name of the LORD,
And all the kings of the earth Your glory.
16 For the LORD shall build up Zion;
He shall appear in His glory.
17 He shall regard the prayer of the destitute,
And shall not despise their prayer.

This is for Anthony Brown.

Anthony Brown died today.

Anthony is the 20 year old son of some dear friends who served as the youth minister in our church for over 10 years. They are precious people and my husband and I love them very dearly. We are heartbroken.

It is during times like this that I wonder why? It is so hurtful. It is so painful.

They Don’t deserve it!

Many hours Jeannie and Dion have suffered with many of us who struggle. Jeannie and I have spent many hours together in prayer. He is now pastor of a Baptist Church near here, having moved on from our church four years a go. And now this.

No one ever “deserves” such a thing. Jeannie and Dion “deserve” all of the greatness God has to offer. Their son is dead. The Bible is full of Christians who don’t deserve it:

Acts 23:29
I found out that he was accused concerning questions of their law, but had nothing charged against him deserving of death or chains.


This pain is so great it is unfathomable. Theirs is the greatest.

He gives us the strength when we need it

My son and I were talking about Anthony because he overheard me talking on the phone with my husband. My son is ten and at the age when he is beginning to grow up and ask tough questions.

My son wants to go on a trip on an airplane. With all of his heart!

I told him that in another year or two that we will be going on an airplane trip – does he want me to give him the ticket?

He said “Well, Mom, I don’t need it right now, do I?”

“That’s the point, son,” I said. “We don’t need God to help us die right now, we need Him to help us live. I believe when it is our time to die, He steps in and gives us the grace and providence to be able to walk through that. Like the parent giving their child the ticket right before they board, He gives us our “ticket” just in time.”

God gives us the providence to face today.

Matthew 6:34
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

Hang on to the Truth when you feel hopeless

As I mourn with my dear friends and cry out in anguish I cling to what I know is true – God’s Word.

Hosea 13:14
“ I will ransom them from the power of the grave; I will redeem them from death. O Death, I will be your plagues! O Grave, I will be your destruction! Pity is hidden from My eyes.”

1 Corinthians 15:26
The last enemy that will be destroyed is death.

John 8:51
Most assuredly, I say to you, if anyone keeps My word he shall never see death.”

Revelation 1:18
I am He who lives, and was dead, and behold, I am alive forevermore. Amen. And I have the keys of Hades and of Death.

As we mourn those we love we trust God to get us through. We trust Him for the grace to make it through the day. We do not understand. We do not see meaning. We only see the pain of sin that Adam brought in the world as we continue to reap the pain of His succumbing to sin. I am reminded that we must only fear the second death.

Revelation 2:11
“He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. He who overcomes shall not be hurt by the second death.”’

Through our faith in Jesus Christ we will be spared from the second death. We all must walk through the first one. Just as God gave me the strength to bear my three children in the hour which I needed it…God will also give me the strength to die when my time as come.

Ponderings.

I am not afraid of death for myself. I know that my Jesus will be waiting for me on the other end. I know it as sure as I can touch my own skin. He is more real than the slippers on my feet right now for he comforts my very soul as I struggle with the agonies of life. He is the One who will never fail me. He is the Teacher and I am the child. I know so little. I trust him to give me my ticket when I need it both for myself and for when I must need it for those I love.

I trust Jesus because He is really all I have. I will come to Him with empty hands for all I do will be left behind and I will walk forward with only the faith in Jesus Christ meaning anything at all. He is my Comforter, my Redeemer, and all that I am and have. I ask Him to sustain my friends

Lord, I feel as if I cannot pray. Your Holy Spirit can pray on Jeannie and Dion’s behalf in words that cannot be uttered. There are no words of comfort I can say that will help so I ask that You send the Comforter to minister in divine ways that we cannot see. Work a miracle of comfort for it will take a miracle for them to be able to move ahead with their lives. The wound is too raw, the pain to great to bear without the One who bore the greatest pain ever felt. I thank you that Anthony’s salvation was sure in his mind. I thank you that You knelt over his bed and surrounded Him with peace and perfection and that you took Him to your bosom of love. Give that peace to his mother, father, and brothers. WE shall not know or understand this pain that they feel. Let us be their true friends. Even in this let Jesus Christ be exalted and let others live. May there be people saved from the second death through this child’s physical death for that is the only thing that means anything. Forgive us. Help us. Let us be faithful. In Jesus name. Amen.

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