Still

I have taken these lyrics and put them by my sink, at my desk, and in my journal.

"Be still, my soul,

The Lord is on your side.
Bear patiently, the cross of grief or pain.
Leave to your God, to order and provide.
In every change He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul,
Your best your heavenly friend, 
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Be still, my soul,
Your God will undertake
To guide the future as he has the past.
Your hope, your confidence let nothing shake.
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul,
The waves and winds still know
His voice who ruled them while he lived below.

Be still, my soul,
Be still, my soul,
Be still."

I haven't blogged here in a while because sometimes struggles are too 

personal and yet even with the silence of this blog, it doesn't really matter - 

any time you want to hear from God - you can open His Word.

"Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased
to give you the kingdom." Luke 12:32

Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior and anything good I have goes to Him. 

This blog may be still.  He's not.  

Bible Study and my Itouch

I love my new Apple iPod touch 16 GB (2nd Generation), it is so cool.

And yet, it has improved my life in so many ways. Not only have I lost 14 pounds using the really cool Lose It app, but it is part of my Bible study and Sunday school lesson.

There is a Bible app that has multiple translations of the Bible. I often use it as part of studying my Sunday school lesson.

Also, as I do my Beth Moore Bible Study, Stepping Up: A Journey Through the Psalms of Ascent, Member Book, I can now buy the lessons that come every five days for $3.99. That may sound like a lot, but it lets me spread the cost out a little and it is far less expensive than the video version. I listen as I walk on the treadmill and every so often for my morning study and fill in the blanks.

I also have several books on my itouch including Believing God (also by Beth Moore) -- see a pattern there, but also many other great books like The Last Lion Part B: Winston Spencer Churchill, Alone, 1932-1940.

So, the last book, on Churchill costs $120 on Amazon in audio tape and you cannot seem to get it in print. I pay around $20 a month for a subscription to Audible.com and get 4 credits a month - I got the Churchill book for 2 credits. If you have an itouch, Audible is really the way to go. (Too bad, Beth Moore's lessons aren't available there, so I have to buy them from Itunes. But that is ok, it is worth it.)

For me, as a Sunday School teacher and person who is usually leading, it is vital that I study under someone. It is important so that I can help others, to get up every morning and study my own Bible. Have to learn and seek God.

My Itouch has been a great tool and really in the running for my all time favorite gadget of my life. It is not nearly as expensive as an Iphone, which I hear is a terrible phone anyway, and it works very well.

I recommended it to our youth pastor because of some of the really cool features:

• Set it up to sync with google Calendars - it will link up to 5. You can have some of those calendars as public calendars and embed them in websites. Then, when you put a date on one of your public calendars, it automatically publishes onto your website -- perfect for youth.
• You can use Nimbuzz to instant message from your itouch -- it is important to IM if you work with youth.
• You can link to facebook and twitter on your itouch as well.
• It lets you keep up on those emails that come in all the time.
• It makes you cool. ;-)
  

What to do when I don't fit in

Today's Bible Study for me this morning, Psalm 124:

" ¹ If the LORD had not been on our side—
    let Israel say—
    ² If the LORD had not been on our side ^(A)
    when men attacked us, ^{(B)
    3} then they would have swallowed us alive
    in their burning anger against us. ^{(C)
    4} Then the waters would have engulfed us;
    the torrent would have swept over us;
    ⁵ the raging waters would have swept over us. ^{(D)
    6} Praise the LORD,
    who has not let us be ripped apart by their teeth. ^{(E)
    7} We have escaped like a bird from the hunter's net;
    the net is torn, and we have escaped. ^{(F)
    8} Our help is in the name of the LORD,
    the Maker of heaven and earth. ^(G)"

I've been enjoying Stepping Up: A Journey Through the Psalms of Ascent, Member Book, another delightful study from Beth Moore.  This Psalm really speaks to me and the struggles of late.  I'm the type of person who likes and gets along with most people, so when people are unkind to me or just plain spiteful, it is sort of the response as if a baby kitten had suddenly had a cup of milk from the counter fall on her head. 

So, after spending the better part of two sitcoms with my face to the couch with tears in my eyes, I'm back upright blogging this for some strange reason, leaning against the wet cushion that has been my repose.

You know, I could have pity parties and whine about how I'm mistreated.  But, as I was walking back to my classroom after lunch, I saw this Psalm clearly in my mind, then, I saw Jesus surrounded by the teachers of the law trying to find fault with him.  He didn't deserve it.

Beth says in the study on p 54:

"We must let God open our eyes to the reality that we have a powerful enemy who- let me say this clearly - absolutely hates us...

We who belong to Christ are not imagining that we have an enemy who hates us.  We do.  We also don't have to wonder why.  Satan hates us because God loves us...

The closest he can come to hurting God is to hurt one of His children."

To me, the hardest thing to understand is pure, unadulterated hatred from another person.  I know that I as a person am so far from perfect--I get so mad at my own faults -- the way I forget things, the way I repeat myself, how I can get so focused on a task that I'm insensitive or just clueless to the needs of others.  I'm a geek and use big words that scare people.  I could go on. But, to me, every human on this earth is made by God and worthy of respect.  I may not like them, but God loves them as equally as He loves me.  He loves each of us.

But something stuck with me as the study moved over to Romans 8:28-39.  She asked us to fill in the blanks as if these verses are a personal message to me and here is what I wrote based upon the passage of Romans:

My child, Vicki. (put your name there)

I will make sure all things work together for your good.
I will make you look like my Son, Jesus.
I will give you a calling, justify and glorify you.
I will always be for you as proven by the sacrifice of my Son.
I will make you more than a conqueror - you are made to triumph.
I will love you and nothing, ever, anywhere will ever keep me from loving you or separate you from my love.

Love, God.

 So, today I was in an unguarded moment and misspoke and was quickly taken down for it both then and later.  Besides beating up on myself, I was reminded and rebuked for my misstatement.

And so, I have been crying on the couch. 

And yet, again, the part that stuck out was "justify and glorify you" which came from Romans 8:30:

"³⁰And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified."

I need to feel justified.  Not justified in my feelings, but to know that somehow, someway, my God will justify me.  I know in my heart that no ill intent was meant nor implied today.  I feel like I should run and hide.  Already I try to make myself NOT speak up every chance I can, however, God has called me and one day He will justify me.  Really, I don't want to be glorified and know that I don't deserve it.  But to be justified.  To be accepted and loved for who I am by the God who made me.  That is enough.

The biggest problem with me in this small town is that I am really pretty geeky.   I don't mean to be.  So many times I've wished I could just fit in.  But I don't.  I'm the pyramid that doesn't fit in the round hole! 

So, sometimes I have to cry about it.  And yet, when I cry about it, I recall the last time I felt this down about being a geek.  It was January 2000, the month before my hometown was struck by horrible tornadoes.  When the tornadoes struck, I felt God tell me that he called me out for the purpose.  He used my geekiness to do some technological things that really did benefit my hometown.  It was one of the greatest joys of my life.  I knew I was here for a reason.  My husband and I staying and living here was justified.  God was glorified, and yes, we were too in many ways.

So now, again, I'm feeling this horrible feeling of "why on earth am I here. I don't fit in at all."  My heart is broken but it is OK.  This is my version of Psalm 124 that is my comfort:

"Oh, God, If you hadn't been on my side!
If you hadn't been on my side, my God, when I was under attack
      They would have eaten me alive in venomous hatred!
The water would have drowned me
      I would have sunk and washed away in the flood.
Praise God!  You saved me from their vicious bite!
You have freed me from the net of those who try to trap me.
Even when I am caught in their net-trap
     See!  The net is torn and I got away!  Because of you!!!

My help is in your name, the name of the God who covenanted with me in His blood,
    the maker of heaven and earth
    and the One who saves me in countless ways from the roaring lion
    who hates all  God's children!

Praise to the deliverer, my Deliverer, my God, my Christ!"

And there, I rest all of my hopes.

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When dreams die

"There is many a thing which the world calls disappointment, but there is no such a word in the dictionary of faith. What to others are disappointments are to believers intimations of the way of God." John Newton

We all have dreams. When we get married to prince or princess charming, they are (almost) perfect in every way. The Cinderella story is ours and ours alone and we will dance through life with our feet barely touching the ground. And then one day we wake up and realize that we've married a human being who isn't perfect and has hurt or disappointed us. That is the way it is with dreams.

People dream of fame. Then they crumble under the flash of the paparazzi. People dream of money. Then they lay awake at night figuring out what to do with it and wondering if those around them like them or their money more!

Dreams are never what they seem. But one thing is for sure, when the dream bubble bursts and we are faced with reality, we should cling to fellow Christians.

Carl G. Conner tells this story:

"A few winters a go, heavy snows hit North Carolina. Following a wet, six-inch snowfall, it was interesting to see the effect along Interstate 40.

Next to the highway stood several large groves of tall, young pine trees. The branches were bowed down with the heavy snow- so low that branches from one tree were often leaning against the trunk or branches of another.

Where trees stood alone, however, the effect of the heavy snow was different. The branches had become heavier, but without the other trees to lean against, the branches snapped. They lay on the ground, dark and alone in the cold snow.

When the storms of life hit, we need to be standing close to other Christians. The closer we stand, the more we will be able to hold up."

We must also remember, that our greatest support is Jesus Christ. Even though we may feel alone, He and other Christians can help us stay up when our burden is too heavy to bear.

Does Jesus still heal?

"The Lord is near to all who call on Him;
to all who call on Him in truth.
He fulfills the desires of those who fear him;
He hears their cry and saves them."
Psalm 145:17-18

As we struggle in my family with the aging and health difficulties of some we love so dearly, I've been thinking about Jesus' habit of healing.

Jesus while He was here on earth, healed many to honor God. But we must remember, when those he healed came to their time to die, they eventually did. None was healed permanently and even Lazarus died again.

Some don't want to believe in God because they say "he doesn't heal." Well,He does! I know people all around me who should have died years a go, but didn't. Fully recovered cancer patients, mothers who became sick when their kids were elementary and lived to see their children graduate. People who were supposed to live six months and lived yeras.

What we are really saying when we complain about God's healing is that we're angry that death is still around - stealing those we love and causing tragedies we cannot understand.

"Why is there death?" is really our question -- as if healing could put an indeterminable stop to the encroaching pallor of death.

Well, Jesus is the One who DID conquer it and it is clear that it is the path of a Christian to die but once.

I birthed three children and had to walk through that path, three, separate, distinct times. But I will only hve to die but once (unless Jesus comes back first.) I WILL have to die, when it is my time.

We are angry at God about death, when death wasn't in His plan to begin with. Death was chosen for us by our ancestors who rejected God and thought they knew better than Him. Death is confirmed by us when with the apple of our hearts we bit at the tempation of lies that we think we know better than God: overeating, lusting, being jealous, gossiping, hurting others, being angry, not forgiving -- these are the things that give us common identity with our forebearers and confirm that indeed our flesh is corrupt and deserves to die... but only once if we are a Crhsitian.

For, if we are a Christian, we will have a new body that is not corrupt. It will be a glorified one without traces of innate sin but will allow us to more closely identify with Jesus.

If one is not in Christ, they have no new body, only the old corruptible one and therefore must spend eternity with their corrupt, inadequate body, separated from the God who gave them a chance! Such sadness!

The God who heals does heal. he heals us in life. He heals us after death so we may live eternally with him.

All the while being criticized by these ants He has created and elevated to call friends, brothers, and sisters! Oh, God is a tremendous God and One we cannot understand!

But know this. He still heals!

Tags: Christian, healing, death, Christ, Jesus, hope, God

Will you be nothing so God can do something?

When we look at David, we remember that he was a man after God's own heart. We remember that he sang beautifully and that he killed Goliath. We remember that he sinned with Bathsheeba and that he was pentinent and restored.

But do we remember his origins?

David was the youngest. Not an esteemed position at all. In fact, when he was hiding from Saul, he used as an excuse to miss the feast (where Saul planned to kill him),

"...our family is observing a sacrifice in the town and my brother has ordered me to be there..." (1 Samuel 20:29)

So, David was low and nothing. In fact, his job was to watch the sheep and he was such a nonentity that when Samuel came to Jesse's house, David was not even called to be considered.

"There is still the youngest," Jesse answered,"but he is tending the sheep." 1 Samuel 16:11

Interestingly, when the Israelites went to fight the Philistines, David was still tending sheep. Perhaps his own family discounted the anointing of Samuel? Perhaps they thought Samuel was "losing it" and were just patronizing him. Anyway, the only way David could "get in on the action" and be able to get on the front lines was to serve as the delivery boy -- he took bread and gave cheese to his brother's commander. (1 Samuel 17:17-18)

So, David wouldn't have even gotten to be at the front if he wasn't willing to deliver cheese. Not exactly an esteemed position, huh?

When we're at the right place at the right time, God uses us. But sometimes in order to get to the right place we must be willing to do unpleasant jobs. We must be willing to subject ourselves to our authority.

We must be willing to deliver cheese!

This reminds me of another person who changed the world:

"and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for him in the inn." (Luke 2:7)

Are you willing to be nothing so God can do something with you?

Tags: Jesus, David, King David, Christian, religion, Christianity, humility, humble, Vicki A Davis

Tackling Tough Times Together

So, as I've shared my backyard experiences, I've shared Gardenias in the Garbage, Moving Messes, and Today, I'm sharing about Tackling Tough Times Together.

When Mama was diagnosed with cancer this past October, it was a tough time. As we prepared to go to Atlanta for her surgery, my sister called Mom and said this:

"Mom, we don't know where this path will lead - it could go down one of two roads.  But whichever road we travel, we're going down this road together as a family."

We labored in prayer together.  Mama went in front of the church and asked for prayer according to what God's word says to do.   She DOESN'T like to be in front of the church!

The thing about praying is that God says that we must pray but then totally, truly be willing to accept God's will.  As Jesus prayed in the garden of Gethsemane, he BEGGED God to let there be another way, another path - and yet, He said, "Not my will but thine." 

And God said no to him.  (See my 2006 post "When God Told Jesus 'No!'")

So,  we love Mama!  We love her so much!  And yet, we must love God more than our own parents and so, with our gutts completely torn out (both hers and ours) we had to say, "not my will but thine."

Huddled together like scared children at the feet of a powerful king, we clung.  We clung to God and his word and promises that

"Deuteronomy 31:8
The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.""

 Isaiah 30:21
Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it."

 Joshua 23:8
But you are to hold fast to the LORD your God, as you have until now.

Hold fast -- cling.  Listen.  Know that He will be with us.   That is all we could do.

This was like when Kip and I and the kids worked in the yard.  One of us would be pulling and pulling on a big old tree.  It wouldn't come loose.  Too many vines.  Too much mess!  No way!

And yet, if one or even better two of us, grasped a different place in the tree and we pulled together, it would come out like a toothpick stuck in wet soap.  Boy, it became MUCH easier.

"Matthew 18:20
For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them."

 Ecclesiastes 4:12
Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken

God said in Genesis

Genesis 2:18
The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."

While ultimately when we pass through the shadow of death - it is US and our God -- together -- while here on this earth we need each other.  We cling to God first but when the tough times come, we pull together.

 When you have problems in life, you and your family have two choices:  pull together or pull apart.

So often when struggles come there is blame.  Finger pointing.  Whining.  Fussing.

Why do children totally mess up their parent's legacy by fighting over what their parents leave behind?  What is more important, the legacy of their parents or the money that they can add to their account?

When my husband's parents died, he got some things that he wanted and other things went to other brothers.  But the things were not what was important -- Kip may have relinquished the call for THINGS but he kept HIS BROTHERS.

When Mom had her surgery and was awaiting being taken back - they only let two go back - we have three sisters.  We laughed, worked it out and all jostled over Mom, but, we KEPT our sisters.  We loved each other through it.  The last thing we needed was for us to fuss and get upset and upset our mother.

And when we got the news on December fourth.  Oh, the news!  The news that were far beyond what we could ask or imagine.  The news that meant that Mama would be our present for Christmas.  She would not be racked and riddled with chemotherapy or spend the holiday in some cold hospital - she would be our warm, living breathing present - still sore from the surgery but THERE.

I asked her to wear a bow on her head to represent that God in his infinite wisdom and most humbling mercy of all mercies decided to give us Mama back.  The cancer was completely gone - nothing left - no chemo, no radiation.  Just healing mercy.

Oh, so many prayers have gone up for so many people and it was their time to be called home to heaven.  We do not our would not presume that the prayers of their families were any less sincere or that ours were any more "holy" for there is NOTHING holy about us!  God has blessed us and we are grateful.

So, what I've learned is that when the rough winds blow - God means for us to tackle those though times together.

We aren't meant to be alone and even if and when we are - we are still not alone - we have our triple braided cord that cannot break holding the threads of our very soul from being wiped into nonexistence:  the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.  We are held in a net of LOVE, compassion and caring that we cannot understand but cannot escape if we put our faith in Jesus Christ as our Savior.

Oh, to be loved in this way is truly the greatest joy!

So, as you deal with the stickers and brambles of life - PULL TOGETHER.  Stick together. Love.  Cling to your God and to those God has given you to move through life with.  Do not pull a part - pull together.